Safer to play safe
Whether it’s not being invited to the party, passed over for a job, or feeling unseen in a relationship, rejection stings and leaves a mark on our psyche. Over time, those experiences shape how we show up in the world. We start playing it safe, avoiding situations where rejection might happen. But here’s the catch: when we do that, we also end up holding back from the things we truly want — love, joy, growth, and the chance to be fully ourselves.
Fear of rejection is very common and deeply human. In fact, it is considered one of the ten most common fears, and it may even be hardwired into our DNA.
Fear of rejection isn’t just a mindset. It is deeply rooted in your nervous system. In fact, rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. And when it echoes past experiences like childhood neglect, bullying, or criticism, the emotional impact can be even more intense.
You might recognize this fear showing up as:
Avoiding vulnerability in relationships
Worrying too much about what others think
Holding back from creative or professional risks
People-pleasing or striving for perfection
These behaviors are often self-protective — ways we try to stay safe. But over time, they keep us stuck.
From hiding to healing
While fear of rejection can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t have to control your life: it is possible to overcome it. There is a way to gently release the fear beneath these patterns, so you can stop hiding and start showing up more fully as yourself.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping, provide a simple yet powerful method for reducing the emotional intensity of rejection and gently transforming the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
Tapping basics
EFT is a simple yet powerful mind-body technique. It involves gently tapping on specific acupressure points while focusing on difficult emotions or limiting beliefs. You can think of it as a sort of emotional acupuncture, just without the needles.
By tapping on these energy points while tuning into feelings like fear, pain, or past trauma, EFT helps soothe the nervous system, lower stress hormones like cortisol, and begin to shift the subconscious patterns that keep us feeling stuck.
To put it simply, EFT helps you feel more relaxed, more resilient, and strengthens your sense of self-belief.
What is a tapping script?
A tapping script is a guided set of phrases you say out loud while doing EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques). These phrases are designed to help you focus on a specific issue — like fear of rejection, anxiety, or self-doubt — as you tap on various acupressure points on the body.
Tapping scripts are simply a starting point, a way to help you find the words. Feel free to adjust the language so it matches your feelings and experience. If something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t resonate, leave it out or change it to something that does. Be as specific as possible (for example, “frustrated with too many Zoom meetings” is more helpful than just “frustrated”).
If you ever feel triggered or overwhelmed, stop using words and just keep tapping in silence until you feel calmer. This is called No-Words Tapping. And remember, if you’re struggling, it’s always okay to reach out to a qualified EFT practitioner or healthcare professional for support.
As you tap, say the words out loud while gently tapping on each point. Before you begin, rate how intense the emotion feels on a scale from 0 to 10 — 0 being no intensity, and 10 being very strong. After each round of tapping, check your rating again. Keep going, adjusting the words as needed, until your intensity level drops to 1 or 0. If you find yourself stuck around a 4 or 5, that may be a sign something deeper is coming up — and you don’t have to face it alone.
Tapping script
Quick recap on how to tap:
Tap on the side of the hand (9) as you say the set up statements out loud.
Go through the rest of the points, using the script for the phrases. Sequence 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1.
Side of the hand + Set up Statements:
Even though I’m afraid of being rejected, I deeply and completely accept how I feel.
Even though I have this fear of rejection, I acknowledge it’s only a feeling and I am still a good person.
Even though I have this fear of being rejected, I am creating a safe space for myself as I tap on this feeling.
Then, tap through the other points, saying the phrases:
Eyebrow: I have this fear of rejection
Side of the Eye: Fear of rejection
Under the Eye: This fear of rejection
Under the Nose: Fear of being rejected
Chin: Fear of rejection
Collarbone: It’s so horrible to feel rejected
Under the Arm: I don’t want to be rejected
Top of the Head: I have this fear of rejection
Eyebrow: This fear of rejection
Side of the Eye: What if they don’t like me?
Under the Eye: What if they don’t want me?
Under the Nose: What if I am cast away?
Chin: I don’t want to be the odd one
Collarbone: I don’t want to be rejected
Under the Arm: I have this fear
Top of the Head: This fear of rejection
Eyebrow: I know rejection is part of life
Side of the Eye: Rejection is part of the game
Under the Eye: I may be turned down for a job
Under the Nose: Or someone may ignore me
Chin: It doesn’t mean I am a bad person
Collarbone: It’s just that I feel rejected
Under the Arm: and it hurts
Top of the Head: And I don’t want to hurt
Eyebrow: So I could choose to see things differently
Side of the Eye: because I am a good person
Under the Eye: I am a good person
Under the Nose: I choose to believe in something different
Chin: that it means better things are coming to me
Collarbone: It is a way to correct my direction
Under the Arm: So I can focus on other opportunities
Top of the Head: And other people
Eyebrow: It is safe to know that I am a good person
Side of the Eye: It is safe to know that I am enough
Under the Eye: It is safe to know that there are peopele who love me
Under the Nose: It is safe to know that I am enough
Chin: I am enough
Collarbone: I am enough as a person
Under the Arm: I am a human being
Top of the Head: And I am enough
I wish you to go for it!
Daphne
Request a tapping script
If you have any requests or suggestions for EFT tapping scripts, I’d love to hear from you. You’re welcome to contact me. I’ll do my best to post it here on the blog as soon as possible.
EFT is a great tool that can help you address a variety of issues.
If you would like to have a chat about some problem you have and are not sure if EFT can be of help, do not hesitate to contact me.
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