Tired of not sleeping
“Will I be able to get any sleep tonight?” is a straightforward question that might cause anxiety and worry at bedtime if you have been having trouble sleeping for a while.
In an attempt to exhaust yourself, you try to stay up and get busy. Or you go to bed in the hopes of falling asleep, only to discover that your mind is now completely awake and uncontrollable. You can’t stop the racing thoughts and find yourself still wide awake at 2am. Going to bed is now associated with frustration, stress, or even anger and sleep becomes even more elusive.
You’re not alone—many women experience sleep challenges. Whether it’s trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling tired and irritable, poor sleep can have a negative impact in all areas of your life, at work and at home. You drink loads of coffee to go through the day.
There are many reasons why your sleep patterns might be disrupted. These can include high stress levels, acid reflux (GERD), hormonal imbalances, financial worries, divorce, grief, PTSD, sleep apnea, poor diet, or excessive screen time. In most cases, it’s not just one factor but a combination of several that contribute to sleep difficulties. Lack of sufficient rest comes at a cost—headaches, irritability, difficulty focusing, and anxiety are just a few of the consequences. One of the first steps you should take is to identify the root cause of the problem.
The good news is, there are things you can try right now. I’ve personally tested these strategies after spending over a year struggling with sleep, and I know from experience that they can make a real difference.
15 tips to help you sleep naturally tonight
- Ideally, you should avoid using computers or mobile devices before bed, as the bright light can interfere with your body’s natural sleep signals. However, if you must use them, be sure to enable the Night Shift or blue light filter setting. This reduces the amount of stimulating blue light your screen emits. I recommend setting it for at least 10 hours—mine runs from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., and once I made this change, my sleep improved noticeably.
- In the evenings, I also make a habit of dimming the lights and occasionally using candles to create a calming atmosphere. This helps signal to my brain that it’s time to wind down. If you do use candles, just make sure to blow them out before going to bed for safety.
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Taking one or two magnesium supplements before bed can help relax your body and support better sleep. Even if your sleep isn’t perfect, you may still feel noticeably better the next day. However, it’s important not to exceed the recommended dose, and you should consult your GP before starting any new supplement—especially if you have existing health conditions or take other medications. For quality and safety, it’s best to purchase supplements from a reputable health store.
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This might sound obvious, but it’s worth repeating: avoid coffee, fizzy drinks, energy drinks, and alcohol—especially in the hours leading up to bedtime. These can interfere with your ability to fall and stay asleep. Also steer clear of heavy, fatty, or spicy meals in the evening, as they can trigger digestion issues that disrupt sleep.
If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and experiencing symptoms like a sore throat or persistent coughing the next day, it’s important to speak to your GP. These could be signs of conditions such as GERD (acid reflux) or a hiatus hernia, both of which can disturb your sleep without you realizing it.
Lastly, be mindful of your exercise routine. While regular physical activity is beneficial, certain intense sports—especially late in the evening—can leave you feeling wired instead of relaxed, making it harder to wind down for sleep.
- If you’ve had a rough night, make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and help your body recover. I also find it helpful to have a small glass of water just before bed. Staying hydrated supports overall health and can ease some of the grogginess that comes with poor sleep—but don’t overdo it right before bedtime, as too much water can lead to waking up during the night to use the bathroom.
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Incorporating relaxation techniques or gentle yoga into your routine can help calm the nervous system and prepare your body for rest. One simple but powerful pose is Corpse Pose (Shavasana). Just lying still on your back, breathing deeply, and consciously relaxing each part of your body can be incredibly restorative. If you’re unable to sleep at night, even doing this during the day when you’re exhausted can provide some much-needed rest.
When I was a child and couldn’t fall asleep, I would instinctively get out of bed, kneel on the floor, and rest in what I now know is Child’s Pose (Balasana). I’d stay like that for several minutes—sometimes up to fifteen—until I felt calm enough to return to bed and finally drift off. That simple practice stayed with me and still works when I need it.
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The 4-7-8 breathing method is a simple but powerful relaxation technique that can help calm the mind and prepare the body for sleep. It involves a specific breathing pattern:
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Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
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Hold your breath for 7 seconds
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Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds
This pattern slows your heart rate and helps shift your body into a more restful state. Aim to complete the cycle up to 8 times. Some people find it helpful to practice this technique during the day first, so it feels familiar and easier to use at bedtime.
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- If you find yourself tossing and turning, and frustration is setting in, it may help to step away from your bed for a while. A short walk—just 20 minutes to get some fresh air—can reset your mind and body. Be cautious, though: avoid poorly lit areas, and if you’re a woman or in a place where walking alone at night could be unsafe, only go out if you feel it’s secure to do so.
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Another great option is to take a warm (not hot) shower. Let the warmth relax your muscles for a few minutes, then gradually reduce the temperature until it’s cool or cold. This temperature contrast can help regulate your body temperature and promote sleepiness once you return to bed.
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If you’re struggling to fall asleep, try reading a book that’s less than thrilling—something wordy, dense, or even a bit boring. The lack of excitement and mental engagement can help your mind relax and switch off. Often, just a page or two is all it takes to start feeling sleepy!
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ome people find that using crystals can promote relaxation and better sleep. Personally, I often sleep with a clear quartz crystal in my hand and wake up still holding it. The key is mindfulness: place the crystal in your hand, close your fingers around it, and focus on the sensation. If your thoughts wander, gently guide them back to the crystal.
Crystals that are commonly used to aid sleep include amethyst, howlite, and sodalite. The idea is that their calming energies can help quiet your mind and promote a peaceful night’s rest.
- Lavender is known for its calming and relaxing properties. To help create a peaceful sleep environment, lightly spray some lavender mist on your bedding (but avoid spraying directly on your pillow). You can also spritz it in the air around your bed. The clean, soothing scent can help relax your mind and signal that it’s time to wind down.
- To create the optimal sleep environment, consider leaving your bedroom window slightly ajar (on latch) at least one hour before bed. Fresh, cool air can help lower the temperature in the room. Ideally, aim to keep the room temperature around 18°C (64°F) for the best sleep quality. A cooler room can help your body naturally relax and prepare for rest.
- Do some tapping!To help calm your mind before bed, EFT should become part of your evening routine. It will release tension and promote relaxation. Before I provide you a tapping script, I woul like to give you one final tip.
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One of the most important things to remember is to let go of the need for instant results. Becoming fixated on your inability to sleep can actually make the problem worse. Instead, trust that sleep will come when it’s ready. Relax into the process, let go of the pressure, and know that rest will find you when your body is ready for it.
Tapping script
Quick recap on how to tap:
Tap on the side of the hand (9) as you say the set up statements out loud.
Go through the rest of the points, using the script for the phrases. Sequence 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1.
Side of the hand + Set up Statements:
Even though I have all this frustration and anxiety over my sleep, I am a good person
Even though I can’t sleep right now, I am safe in my bed and I enjoy this feeling.
Even though I have this worry about staying awake and not getting any sleep, I am a good person.
Then, tap through the other points, saying the phrases:
Eyebrow: All this worry
Side of the Eye: All this anxiety
Under the Eye: All this frustration
Under the Nose: All those feelings
Chin: What if I don’t sleep tonight?
Collarbone: All this worry
Under the Arm: Over my sleep
Top of the Head: Lack of sleep
Eyebrow: This sleeping problem
Side of the Eye: I am not getting enough sleep
Under the Eye: It’s so frustrating
Under the Nose: I am so tired
Chin: What if I don’t sleep tonight?
Collarbone: All this frustration
Under the Arm: I would like to get some sleep
Top of the Head: but I am not sure it will happen
Eyebrow: All this frustration
Side of the Eye: I would like to relax
Under the Eye: I choose to let go of those feelings
Under the Nose: So I can relax
Chin: I choose to fully relax
Collarbone: Quiet my mind
Under the Arm: Relax my body
Top of the Head: Just relax
Eyebrow: I enjoy feeling myself relax
Side of the Eye: I love this feeling of relaxation
Under the Eye: I relax
Under the Nose: It feels so nice to relax
Chin: I allow myself to relax
Collarbone: Now it is time to sleep
Under the Arm: And get some rest
Top of the Head: I can focus on other things tomorrow
Eyebrow: For now I choose to relax
Side of the Eye: Feel so relaxed I can drift
Under the Eye: Relax and drift
Under the Nose: Relax and drift
Chin: Drift
Collarbone: Drift into sleep
Under the Arm: Embracing sleep
Top of the Head: Welcoming sleep
I wish you a good night’s sleep.
Daphne
EFT is a great tool that can help you address a variety of issues.
If you would like to have a chat about some problem you have and are not sure if EFT can be of help, do not hesitate to contact me.
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